I have a huge problem with my girlfriend. I really like her, but I don’t feel love. I am afraid that, at age 25 I will never be in love again unless I break up with her.
I don’t enjoy sex with her – I’m always thinking that, “Oh, God I have to have sex with her tonight!” I feel sexual desire towards other women, but not with her. We have sex once a week. Further, she doesn’t shave, and I just can’t seem to get myself to talk to her about it.
The other issue is concerning partying. I don’t like going out with her to parties. I enjoy the evening with my friends, but when she is with me I feel stressed, and I can’t be myself. This is terrible. And we (or rather I) don’t talk about it.
I need some help!
Let’s see here: you don’t enjoy sex with her, you’re afraid to talk to her about things you want (like her shaving), you don’t like to be seen with her at parties – what the hell are you doing with her in the first place???
Many times, we want something new in our lives, but we’re afraid of losing something we currently have; “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” as the saying goes. Let me tell you a little secret of life and love: the “Law of Vacuum”.
There are many “natural laws” in the universe. Gravity is one of them. You can stand on a roof and proclaim that you don’t believe in gravity; but, as soon as you step off, you’re going to get a healthy dose of it! Like gravity, the sun will rise tomorrow, you’re going to get another paper-cut someday, and someone will release another gawd-awful Robin Williams movie – all whether you like it or not.
One more of these “Immutable Laws of the Universe” is the “Law of Vacuum” which states, “Nature abhors a vacuum; and, if possible, will fill it.” What does this mean? It means that nature has a way of filling its voids. Whenever nature detects a vacuum, it attempts to fill it with something. However, if no vacuum exists, no filling is needed and therefore nature goes off to perform some other task like cleaning out a trailor-park with a tornado.
Take a look at your closet. Do you have clothes you haven’t worn for over a year? Get rid of them! Give them away to charity or simply toss them. What about your garage? Is it full of things you don’t need? Dump them! How about your personal growth? Does it look more like a 3-day old beard? You’re probably filling it with television, rather than making it open and available to be filled with other, more worthwhile things. In short, get rid of the dead wood!
At first, this seems extreme, but instead you’re just making use of nature’s law of vacuum. You closet will be magically filled with new clothes once the old things are gone, your garage will not stay empty long, and your personal growth will start again once the TV is off. Do you doubt this? Then, I ask you to think of the last time you cleaned house – where you threw everything away. Is your house barren today? I doubt it.
You probably have more things now than you did before the house cleaning! This is the Law of Vacuum at work.
So, what about your girlfriend? Let’s face it, you probably want someone you can enjoy sex with, take to parties, etc., Why not just set her free? Don’t worry about love. Once you make room for it, and focus on it as a goal, nature will go about filling that void for you. If you need some help on breaking up, check this link to a recent article I wrote that may help: www.remingtonpublications.com/breaking_up.htm.
Once you create a vacuum, you then have to make use of another of nature’s immutable laws: the “Law of Asking”. Here’s how this works:
“Ask and Thou Shalt Receive” (I think I read that in a book somewhere). What that book didn’t say is, (but was implied) is “Ask intelligently!” That is, you need a clear and concise picture in your mind of what you want before you try to go after it. As I discuss in my book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”, you’ve got to get an absolute picture of what your life will be like when you’ve found the girl of your dreams. You need to describe who she is in every detail. Be specific and spend some time here. You don’t want to use the Law of Asking to fill your love-void with someone like the girl you have now – that would be unpleasant! You might want to pick up a copy of the book and commit it to memory. It will lead you right through the process of creating your “love plan”, and putting that plan into action.
Go forth, my brother – make use of nature’s immutable laws to fill your life with the love you need, and let me know how things turn out.
Good luck, much love…