Category: Menstuff (Page 1 of 2)

Dating Two (or More) Women At The Same Time

With all the hassles, why would someone want to date more than one woman? Frankly, there are as many answers to this question as there are men! However, some very good reasons are as follows:

  • Women are picky – by dating more than one you increase your odds of finding and keeping one that you’ll be with for a long time.
    Women are competitive – Think your buddies are competitive? Try being with more than one woman!
  • Women love a challenge – The bigger challenge they perceive you to be, the harder they’ll work for your exclusive attention.
    There is no “perfect woman” – each woman offers a unique set of benefits and problems. You may find that by dating more than one at a time, you’ll get a good mix of the benefits.
  • You’ll get to know just what you do, and don’t want in a woman – Especially if your dating experience is limited, having more than one gives you a better understanding of what you want – and need!
  • You always have a “back-up” – As you get to know a woman, you’re going to get “tested” (see: for specifics). It’s good to have a back-up or two so you don’t have to throw away those expensive theatre tickets!

You Better Get a Calendar!

Believe me, you’re going to need this handy tool. The format of the calendar doesn’t really matter, as long as you can keep track of which days you saw a woman, and what you did, and when you’re next available. You’re going to want to know when you’re free in the future (to schedule dates), and to review what you did with whom. Why do you want to know whom you did what with when? To cover you tracks! You don’t want to be having a romantic dinner with a woman only to blurt out, “Hey honey – remember that trip we took to San Diego?” only to find out it wasn’t her you went with!

A calendar also helps you organize your time. Let’s face it; free time is scarce for everyone these days. You want to make the best use of your time that you can. By scheduling your time, you can use more of it in ways you want – like meeting and wooing women! A calendar lets you visually structure your time. You know you need time for yourself, your work and your fun – work them in with your women. Even better, when possible (or desirable), bring along one of the ladies as a combination date/hobby time. Now that’s using your time effectively.

Loose Lips Sink Ships!

Just because you’re dating two or more women, doesn’t mean you should advertise it – unless of course, that works to your advantage! Believe me, women have an innate sense about these things, and will probably figure it out without you telling them. It is far better to have some mystery here rather than to have everything out in the open. This way, you are in better control. Further, because of women’s competitive nature, they’re going to try to get you to commit to only them – even if THEY don’t plan to see YOU in the long term! It’s a woman thing – go figure.

Woman will use subtle tactics to get you to drop the other women, such as saying “You know, I wouldn’t be sleeping with you if I knew you were with someone else!” Here, the assumption is, that if you answer this statement, you’re assuring her that you’re with her exclusively. She knows that you, being a man, are probably not well versed in using these “verbal puzzles” to your advantage, (and, you’re probably not!) You don’t want to outright lie to her – she’s going to catch you and hold you accountable for it! Instead, you’re going to re-direct the issue by saying something like, “Yes, honey, I know you feel that way because I understand you.” Then, drop the subject and move on. You are specifically not telling her what she wants to hear, but you are responding to her.

The second reason you shouldn’t feel compelled to “out” yourself, is you haven’t committed to anything in the first place. You didn’t promise her anything – did you? Men have a bad habit of promising the world to get sex – and women know it. Don’t do this! Don’t let her back you into a corner. To prevent her from doing this, you’re going to need to establish the rules up front. She is going to assume your monogamy far sooner than you will.

To set ground rules; let her know that you’re busy elsewhere. You don’t have to always jump to answer the phone when she calls, nor do you have to return her call the same day. Get actively involved in your friends, your work, your hobbies, etc. Then when you are with her, make it real, quality time – but don’t get locked into a schedule – being with her every Saturday night for example. Be sure to use that calendar we discussed earlier.

What’s Good For the Goose

By the way, it’s not reasonable for you to be out hunting, and for you to expect her to be home waiting for you! She may WANT an exclusive relationship with you, but unless you’re willing to give her that, you can’t reasonably expect it from her. That doesn’t mean that she won’t be monogamous however. This is for her to decide.

Be Careful!

You need to protect yourself. Just like you use condoms every time you have sex (you DO use condoms – right?), you need to protect yourself in other ways too. If she sense that you’re with someone else, she is going to just “stop by” to say hello, or call at inconvenient times. You may want to make it a habit of not answering your door unless you’re expecting someone. At least, don’t answer when “Ms. Stripper” is over having a drink!

Further, if she begins pressuring you to make a commitment, and you keep her going along without one, she may become angry – or worse, psycho! Be aware of your surroundings when you’re out to make sure she isn’t following you around. Watch out for her large family members too. It probably isn’t coincidence that you ran into her brother or her friend while you’re out to dinner with woman #2. Does this sound crazy? Maybe, but I’ve talked to too many men where it’s happened. Watch your back if you choose to date multiple women.

One more thing to watch when you’re dating more than one woman – your wallet! Dates are expensive anyway, often costing $100 or more. If you’re dating twice a week, this adds up pretty quickly. You may need to be more creative on how you spend your dating dollar. Memorable dates don’t have to result in a second mortgage – you just have to be a little creative.

Yes, there are many problems with dating two or more women at the same time, but if you use your head, watch your back (and your wallet), and do some creative planning, you could be in for the time of your life!

The “Divide and Concur” Approach


I am a big fan of your articles. However, I’m a little puzzled on how a group of guys can hook up with another group of girls. For example, my three friends and I want to pick up some girls at a vacation spot we go every summer.

If we see a group of chicks, how do we approach them? Would we say something like “Hey guys, how’s it going?” or ” Hi ladies, what’s up?” and then introduce ourselves and ask them where they are from? How would each of us subtly get with the individual we want without conflict? We aren’t really the most experienced guys when it comes to girls. We could really use some help. Thanks so much.


When you’re with a bunch of guys, the most likely scenario is that one (or more of you) finds one or two of the girls attractive – not the entire group. Of course that doesn’t mean that the “three (or more) on three (or more)” (where each of you chooses a particular woman), doesn’t happen, it’s just not as common.

The best bet is always to use the “Divide and Concur” method. There are a number of names for a method like this, but I like to use the Chess motif. Here’s how this works:

The guys decide who’s turn it is to be the “King” and this should rotate each time you play. The King is the guy that is going to approach a particular target and get her number (or more). The other guys are “Knights” and their job is to help break up the pack so that the King can make his approach.

One or more Knights approach the pack of women and start a conversation. This isn’t difficult, especially because there are no demands on this approach other than to start a conversation. When there is more than one Knight you can even decide on the approach you want to use. Just as when you’re by yourself, it’s always better to have some “opener” that DOES NOT involve some stupid line. However, even a line will work in this case, because the function of the Knights isn’t to try to get numbers, (although that may happen), it’s to separate off the target woman and make it easier for the King to approach.

When the Knights make the initial approach, they may just say, “Hello!” and introduce yourselves. You might also have worked out something else in advance, but the point is it really doesn’t matter. You’re just trying to break the ice here.

Once you get a conversation started, and things are moving along (this will only take a couple of minutes), the King moves in. This is where the Knights do their best work! The King walks over and stands next to his target, (he tells the Knights who he’s interested in beforehand and thus, one of the jobs of the Knights is to make sure the target is situated so that there’s room for the King to stand or sit next to her). Next, one of the Knights introduces their friend to the group. The King then says hello to the pack.

The next step is very important. The Knights now continue to engage the rest of the women in conversation, thus separating them from the target, and the King can turn to her and say, “So, what’s your name?” or something else. this gives him a chance to work her and get her number. He needs to keep this primary mission in mind and should move her toward it though his conversation. If things get going too long, the Knights can begin to “peel off”, and the last one tells the King, “It’s time to go.” This is a great opener for him to ask for her number so that they can “talk again”.

Once the Knights have done their jobs, they can then begin to pursue any of the women in the pack in the same way the King is with his, but don’t forget your primary mission – helping the King.

When a group of guys gets together to go out hunting, they should work out the details beforehand. For example, the guys may get together for dinner before a hunting session and discuss things like:

  1. A review of the ground rules – how the “Divide and Concur” approach works,
  2. The order each will be the “King”,
  3. How long you’ll work on a particular pack and/or target,
  4. Different types of approaches.

When you use this approach there are a number of things to watch out for:

  1. Someone “hogs” being the King,
  2. The King becomes engaged in talking with a woman, won’t give up his position and leave to act as a Knight,
  3. What to do if a Knight fails to do his job and takes over being a King instead, (he misses being the King the next time for example).

The great thing about this approach is that it works no matter how many women are together, and it even works if there are other men in the group! All you need is a minimum of two guys to work this approach effectively.

By the way, I’d strongly recommend that you get at least one copy of “Being a Man in a Woman’s World” and read it. There’s no reason why you should be inexperienced in these things when all the philosophy you need is contained in one place!

Some Women Get Mad When You Say “No”!

Why is it that when women turn men down for sex, they expect us to be understanding and caring, and when men turn women down, they flip out?

Here’s the situation: I broke up with a girl I had been with, but have been able to remain minor friends. I know you don’t think that’s a good idea, but I wanted to keep the communication lines open.

Anyway, since we broke up, she started seeing another guy, although she says it’s only casual sex. She called me last night, saying she was feeling lonely (and horny) and wanted me to come over to sleep with her.

I told her that I didn’t think it would be a good idea, since I know that would probably mean we’re back in a relationship and I’m not ready for that right now. She said it would only be just sex and nothing else. I told her I didn’t believe that and we shouldn’t do it. She got mad, said I was a fool, and hung up on me.

Was I wrong? Should I have gone over? Is it me, or are ALL women crazy??

Thank you in advance for your help.

Hello my brother!

No, it’s not you – all women are crazy! Some are just less than others!

There are actually a few reasons why all this happened.

First, your girlfriend knows that you are looking for sex – that’s a no-brainer! All men want sex! Thus, she felt “safe” asking you; although she probably when through all sorts of mental gymnastics before finally deciding to call you! (It’s a woman thing). Also, since you were sexual together before the breakup, she felt that you could be sexual after the breakup too. When you turned her down, she probably felt you were rejecting HER not the sex! In a manner of speaking, you were by the way. Some women’s egos just can’t stand this type of blow, (pardon the expression).

Second, women are not good at asking men for dates, sex, etc. Many of them feel that they’ll come off as sluts! When you turned her down, she probably felt like cheap and over-sexed. You and I know that isn’t true, but that doesn’t change things for women as they feel great pressure to come across as “good girls”.

Third, she was probably sexually frustrated – just like you are when a girl turns you down!

Of course, all of this doesn’t excuse her rudeness. You have the right to accept sex or turn it down – just like she does. Switch roles for a moment – how would you have reacted if she turned you down? Probably quite differently.

Did you do the right thing?

I think you did. Now understand, I have no problem with the after-dating sex thing! However, in your case, where this girl has admitted that she’s having casual sex with some other guy, things get far more complicated. This is especially true since you were emotionally together before all of this.

You’re right about the relationship issue, and this often gets in the way of casual sex. Consider this: if you were to have slept with her, she may very well have believed that the relationship was back “on”. Then, when you explained to her that it was just sex, how angry would she have been then?

Page 1 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén