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Being a Man
Top 10 Causes of Death Among Adults
Over Age 65
'Safe home' design may prevent injuries in
elderly
He Who Dies with the Most Toys, Still
Dies
Seniors
& Health
Sex and Aging
The Boomer Sex
Surprise
5 Myths About Sex After 50
What I Learned About Sex After
50
Seniors and
Suicide
Elder Care
Elder Abuse
Aging Changes in
the Senses
Sexuality and Physical Changes With
Aging plus a Dr. Ruth 2:10 Video
The Caregiver's
Dilemma: Financing Care for Your Aging Parents
Widower's Peak: As Males Live
Longer, More Are, Unexpectedly, All Alone
When Sex Doesn't Work, What Do You
Do?
When the Thrill Is
Gone
Newsbytes
Related Issues: Deafness, Elder
Care, Senior
Health, Skin,
Senior Triathlon
Journals
- on Elder Abuse and Trauma
Resouces: Seniors,
AIDS & Aging,
Mature Smart
Books: Tansition, Grandpa
Knows Best
'Safe home' design may prevent injuries in
elderly
He Who Dies with the Most Toys, Still
Dies
With Social Security, though you can get reduced benefits before
72, full funds don't happen until 72. That means that most men will
never collect social security. Not a bad system from a governmental
standpoint. I'm collecting mine starting at 62 - to hell with them.
You pay into a system for 54 years (working from 18-72) and don't get
anything back. No wonder the National Institute of Health isn't
interested in figuring out how to end men's early death rate in all
15 major causes of death. What a country.
Senate Probe: Abuse In Nursing Homes Not
Treated Like Other Crimes
2:10Sexuality and Physical Changes With
Aging
Three aspects of sexuality are covered in this topic: the changes that come with aging, suggestions on how to adjust to these changes, and information about sexually transmitted diseases.
In most healthy adults, pleasure and interest in sex do not
diminish with age. Age alone is no reason to change the sexual
practices that you have enjoyed throughout your life. However, you
may have to make a few minor adjustments to accommodate any physical
limitations you may have or the effects of certain illnesses or
medications.
Source: www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/tc/sexuality-and-physical-changes-with-aging-topic-overview
Get this surprising fact: Sex on a first date is twice as likely for people over 50 than for singles in their twenties and thirties, according to a new survey. Why? "As most people age, they become more confident, less inhibited and more likely to take a chance on someone new," says Beverly Mahone, a baby boomer expert and author of Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age. "What's more, if you've been around the dating block a few times, you grow tired of the games and recognize what you like in a person much faster. Which means the dating process can be sped up considerably."
Meet Someone New...
So what's fueling these red-hot dates? Plain old lust! Turns out that 53 percent of singles over 50 say finding a relationship filled with fireworks is more important than landing a mate who is marriage-material. "There's a misconception that Boomers have conservative views toward sex, but let's not forget -- this is a generation that started the Sexual Revolution," says David Noble, founder and executive chief of Wanobe.com, a lifestyle website for Boomers that conducted the study. "The truth is, most people in the stages of mid-life are not looking to re-marry. Many are divorced, have raised their kids and are now seeking fun and pleasure, not to grow old in a rocking chair." And it's true -- the study also found that 73% of single Boomers aim to find a satisfying sexual relationship in the next year, while 84% hope to have an intense sexual connection with the next person they meet.
"As people experience a drop in libido and women go through menopause, having feelings of lust and passion become more important than in their youth, when raging hormones ruled the day," adds Mahone.
So if you just met someone who makes your heart race and you're feeling spontaneous, it's OK to go for it -- just bear in mind this expert advice. "Whether you realize it or not, any time you have sex, you make an emotional investment," says Mahone. "Sometimes sleeping with someone too quickly can rev up expectations which can be awkward. If you do decide to hit the sheets, just make sure your relationship goals -- or lack thereof -- are on the same page," she says. "And of course, use protection."
Elise Nersesian is a New York-based writer who's contributed to Redbook, Health and other national magazines.
Source: personals.aol.com/articles/2008/12/02/the-boomer-sex-surprise/?icid=200100397x1215959476x1201073691
Myth #1: If you're having sex with someone, you can assume it's serious
You may remember back in high school when, after three dates, you were officially a committed couple. But times have changed. Today, even if you've been dating and/or sleeping with someone for months, you can never assume you're exclusive -- or, for that matter, that your one-and-only is dying to find a life partner and settle down. Many 50-somethings want to date around, especially if they're divorced and experiencing single life again for the first time in years. So, don't get so caught up in the excitement of your new romance that you let this crucial detail slide. Many people find that the best time to pop the question is once it becomes clear that you may soon start having sex. If that's your case, consider saying it this way: "Before we sleep together, I need to know this relationship is exclusive." Or if you've already crossed that line, it's completely fine to pull back and say, "I'm not comfortable continuing to sleep with you unless we're in a committed relationship." That way, you're both clear on your expectations and won't be blindsided by surprises.
Myth #2: You're too old to worry about STDs
Just because the risk of pregnancy is gone after menopause doesn't mean you're in the clear when it comes to having unprotected sex. Sexually transmitted diseases can be passed from partner to partner at any age and aren't merely something younger generations need to worry about. According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 23 percent of the total diagnoses of HIV in the past year were in men and women who were 45 or older. Overall, about 10 percent of all people with AIDS in the U.S. are age 50 and older. And that's not all there is to watch out for -- herpes, HPV, Chlamydia, and other ailments are all surprisingly common in this age group. So make sure to use condoms and consider both getting tested before you jump into action.
Myth #3: Your aging body is no longer as attractive as it once was
Sure, many of today's most prevalent sex symbols -- Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Justin Timberlake -- are young. Still, there are plenty of celebrities over 50 -- Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon, and Sean Connery, to name a few -- who prove that people can be hot at any age. So stop worrying about your wrinkles, gray hair and less-than-youthful assets and revel in the ways age has made you even more seductive: Now, more than ever, you're in touch with your turn-ons, turn-offs, and what makes you tick. And that's very attractive! Plus, take a cue from some of those older hotties I mentioned by staying fit, getting a new hairstyle, or splurging on a new outfit or two to feel fabulous and up-to-date. Also, if you are meeting someone, forgo the sedentary dinner date and ask this person to go on a walk or dancing instead. Revving your energy like this can boost your body image and pave the way to a lustier post-date encounter.
Myth #4: Sex should feel the same as it did when you were younger
It's a fact of life: Sex is going to feel different as you age. Post-menopausal women lubricate less, which can make sex uncomfortable. Men over 50 may find that their erections are not as firm or frequent as they were when they were younger. This is all normal, and in no way means you can't enjoy yourself by making some adjustments. Consider getting a water-based lubricant (many are available at drugstores) to help out where nature has left off. Men, see a doctor to find out if Viagra or a similar medication will give you the boost you may need. But products and prescriptions are not the only solutions. When the action's lagging, consider switching from intercourse to oral sex or asking each other, "What can I do to make you feel good?" Keep the lines of communication open, and you'll easily adapt to your body's changes and those of your partner.
Myth #5: By this point, you know what you like -- and should stick to it
Think you've been there, done that with all things sexual and have a good handle on what floats your boat in bed? Guess again: People's tastes and turn-ons change through the years, and sometimes, the only way to figure out what works is to try it -- or, if you already did decades ago, give it a second chance. Maybe sex toys seemed silly or embarrassing to you during your younger years. Now, however, they are an array of cute, non-threatening products available in non-sleazy stores and online sites (like Goodvibes.com). Or, maybe you were never a fan of a certain sex position (like woman on top) or activity (like talking dirty). Well, now's the time to reconsider. It sure beats doing the same old, same old for the next few decades. Treat sex like the ongoing adventure it should be, and the fun will never end!.
Source: Dr. Sari Locker, Ph.D., is a sex educator,
TV personality, and author of the bestseller, The Complete Idiot's
Guide to Amazing Sex. She has an M.S. in sex education and a Ph.D. in
psychology, and was the host of Late Date with Sari on Lifetime
Television. Her website is sarilocker.com
personals.aol.com/articles/2008/09/17/5-myths-about-sex-after-50/?icid=AAMthInCirAtxt
What I Learned About Sex After 50
Slowing down is sensual
''When I was younger, I hated hearing about how it takes you longer to respond sexually as you get older... but now that I am older, I realize it's a blessing. I think it's especially true that men feel this slowing down more than women... but that just gives them more time for foreplay, and I for one am not complaining about that!'' -- Deborah, 52, Great Neck, N.Y.
Lights out!
''When you hit 50, gravity's begun to work on your body. I think that as a result of this, some of us are a little less inclined to feel comfortable with their bodies, or at least to the same degree that we were in our younger years. Because of this, I found that a dimmer switch is a really great thing to have until you and your partner get comfortable with one another. 'Mood lighting' just helps take the edge off things!'' -- Mark, 57, Thousand Oaks, Calif.
More experience means everyone's happy!
''I actually enjoy sex a lot more than I did back when I was younger. Because I'm more experienced now than I was then, I am more attuned to what it is that I like. I'm also definitely more skilled than I was when I was less experienced, so I guess my partners are more thankful than they were back then, which also makes it a more enjoyable experience for me.'' -- Sharon, 55, Waco, Texas
The butterflies don't go away
''I've learned that even though I am much older than I was when I was first sexually active, I still have all of those nervous feelings before getting into bed with someone, and I still wonder about the same things: will I be good, will he be good, will the sex be good? It's funny how that giddy nervousness still crops up, but that's part of the thrill, I guess!'' -- Carole, 56, New York
Creativity counts
''You know the phrase, 'There's more than one way to cook a chicken'? Well, when you're in your 50s and have been having sex for quite some time, you've kind of gone through all of the recipes, if you catch my drift. Therefore, you kind of have to get inventive or it can get old. I've been pleasantly surprised to find out that the women I date are as into trying new 'recipes' as I am. I guess you sort of have to or sex can get really predictable.'' -- Robbie, 52, Coral Springs, Fla.
Buh-bye, birth control
''As most of the women I date have gone through menopause, the issue of getting one of them pregnant isn't there, which is a huge relief! I used to be so consumed with worrying about that when I was sexually active in my 20s and 30s. Not having to be concerned with it now is great; being able to have sex without that cloud of worry hanging over your head makes sex a lot more enjoyable, I think.''
You can be Mrs. (or Mr.) Robinson
''This may sound silly, but I have been dating some younger men over the last couple of years, and it is very exciting to know that they are interested in being with an older, more 'experienced' woman... that I can teach them a thing or two in the bedroom. I have spoken to some of my guy friends and they have had the same sentiments about dating younger women. Maybe it's all the Hollywood imagery we've been exposed to, but there is something that's a real turn-on about that situation. It's made me feel very strong and sensual and in control. I highly recommend it!'' -- Juliana, 58, St. Louis
Source: Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of
www.thefamilygroove.com and regularly appears as a guest on XM
Radio's 'Broad Minded.' Her blog, ''I'm Somebody's Mother?'' can be
found at www.rumymother.blogspot.com.
Check out personals.aol.com/articles/2008/06/10/what-i-learned-about-sex-after-50?icid=AAMthANxAtxt
Secretary Thompson Hails 30th Anniversary Of
The Older Americans Act Nutrition Program
Census: More Elderly Live Together
Gray hair can be a signature life event
Census Finds 2.4 Million Grandparents Taking
Primary Caregiver Roles Again
Boomers Age, Housing Needs Change
UN: People Over 60 Will Quadruple
Get the Most from Your Health Care
Team
Use these suggestions to take the initiative:
Stay educated on each condition or treatment
Research suggests that caregivers and patients who educate themselves get better results from doctors. Learn all you can to explore treatment options and alternatives knowledgeably.
FamilyCare America (www.FamilyCareAmerica.com
)
offers articles designed to address the specific concerns of
caregivers. The company's online resource locator can help narrow
your search for relevant information.
Discuss personal wishes
Before meeting with the doctor, get firm answers to the tough questions. Review these issues as early as possible, before there is a crisis. And consult a lawyer about living wills, durable powers of attorney for health care, and other documents that can help insure your loved one's wishes are carried out.
Prepare for doctor's appointments
Before each meeting with the doctor, make a list of issues you want to discuss. Write down questions in advance and make sure you have a pen and paper handy to take notes and record the doctor's answers. Consider asking the following types of questions:
You can keep a record of all discussions by using the Appointment
Information form and the Caregiver's Log worksheet found at www.FamilyCareAmerica.com
Schedule regular discussions with all team members
A health care team may include a primary doctor, specialists, nurses, health aides, care professionals, family, and friends. In cases of complicated illness, you may want to draw these people together for a "heath care conference" that will get everyone on the same page. Don't assume all members of the health care team know the full picture; ask the primary care physician to take charge as "quarterback" to make sure everyone is clear about their roles.
Call in "the cavalry" when necessary
If you are unable to get the results you want on your own, find professional assistance.
If you are dealing with an eldercare situation, consider hiring a geriatric care manager.
Most health care facilities have resource persons such as social workers, patient advocates, chaplains, and nurses who will work for you and help clarify any concerns.
If you are battling the "system," enlist the help of your state ombudsman for managed or long-term care.
About this Article
This article is reprinted with permission of www.FamilyCareAmerica.com
,
a nationally recognized resource that provides families with
interactive care planning tools, resource locators and helpful
checklists to make caregiving easier. The company also provides
corporations with a Work/Life program for employed caregivers.
Older Men and Community Building
Old age comes at an inconvenient time.
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